


When Everything Falls Apart

by adamwhatareyouevendoing



Category: Inspector George Gently
Genre: Episode Related, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 20:01:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10974351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamwhatareyouevendoing/pseuds/adamwhatareyouevendoing
Summary: "After weeks of recrimination, emptiness, and the bottom of many a bottle, John finds himself at Gently’s door."Fix-it for 8x01.





	When Everything Falls Apart

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry BBC, you can't end with a voiceover telling me that the final episode will air "later this year" and not expect me to need to fix everything immediately. So here I go.
> 
> Title from [Everything Falls](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aa7tNpYrXjE) by Fee, because I listened to it right after the episode and I couldn't help but relate it to them.

After weeks of recrimination, emptiness, and the bottom of many a bottle, John finds himself at Gently’s door. There is a fine mist of rain in the air as he watches the taxi pull away down the drive, its red tail-lights slowly blinking into darkness. He pauses for a moment, hand on the door knocker. He doesn’t quite know why he’s here, nor what he’s hoping to find inside.  
  
In the end, it is Gently’s instincts as a policeman that mean the door is opened; clearly he heard the crunch of gravel as the taxi pulled towards his house, perhaps saw the lights through his window. John’s hand stays raised for a beat longer, fingers still grasping the air where the door knocker had once been, completely unprepared for his next move.  
  
“John?” Gently says, as though he can’t quite believe that John is here on his doorstep.

John squints up at him, eyes screwed against the light spilling from the open doorway. Gently looks tired, more tired than he can remember seeing in a long time. Despite everything that passed between them the last time they were together, John’s worry surpasses the lingering anger that has been simmering away, ever since Gently turned his back and left John alone in their office without a second look as John’s heart broke behind him.

“Guv, you alright?” John asks, watching the way Gently’s grip on the door tightens, as though he is trying to hold himself upright, or perhaps simply debating whether to answer honestly.

Eventually, Gently shakes his head. “My symptoms have been worse this week. Mostly just exhaustion, but I worry what will follow.”

“You should sit down,” John says, and that’s the thing that finally makes him cross the threshold. He does it without thinking, stepping forwards and steering Gently back towards the living room with a strong but careful hand.

Gently reaches for a couple of glasses on the sideboard, then takes a proper look at John. John knows how he must look, weary and haggard; simultaneously hungover from last night, and drunk from this evening. Gently’s hand stills over the decanter of whiskey and instead he pours them both a glass of water, gesturing for John to take a seat.

They are both quiet for a long moment, John watching Gently, who is staring at his glass intently, as though waiting for the tremors he fears are close to resurfacing.  
  
“You know,” Gently begins quietly, still not looking up from his drink, “I once read that in Greek mythology there was a river, called the Lethe, which flowed through the Underworld. All those who drank from the waters experienced complete forgetfulness, and thus the superstition around toasting with water.”

He lifts his glass towards John then, finally looking at him.  
  
“What are we hoping to forget?” John asks, as he touches his glass to Gently’s, before raising it to his lips. The water provides some relief to the pounding in his head.  
  
“Everything,” Gently murmurs, and his eyes are softer than John can remember seeing in a long time. “What happened with Gemma, I hope, and... the things I last said to you.”

John just nods, a lump in his throat that even the water cannot shift.  
  
“You were wrong, you know, when you said you were my project,” Gently says eventually. John’s face must show the disbelief that he feels, because Gently quickly adds, “Alright, perhaps at the start I wanted to keep an eye on you. But you _are_ a different man than you were when we first met, and I know what you faced, with Setters, before I came.”

“Thank you,” John says quietly. That had been the thing that had rankled most with him; Gently acting like a saint again after all this time, and painting John as the man he had been before he knew him.

“You _were_ right about what you said after that though.”  
  
“I don’t remember,” John says, mainly to be obtuse.  
  
“About restoring meaning into my life.” The words hang between them. “You were right, even though I could never have it admitted then, in the office, in front of Rachel. When I came up here, I only had revenge in mind. I was going to leave the force after bringing Joe Webster to justice. But then I found you.”

“I shouldn’t have said those things,” John says. “Sometimes I don’t exactly think before I speak.”

Gently’s mouth quirks slightly. “I know that.”  
  
“If you’ve been that sick of me, you should have let me resign when I wanted to.” It is only partly a joke.  
  
Gently shakes his head almost immediately. “I couldn’t let you do that. I couldn’t let you throw it all away on a whim. Not then, not now.”  
  
“On a whim?” John says incredulously. “A _whim_? Jesus, man, you really think that’s what it was?” He’s suddenly angry once more, tired of Gently’s seemingly stubborn need to misunderstand everything he does and says. “I was shot! _We_ were shot. I nearly died!”  
  
Gently inclines his head in concession. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Poor choice of words.”  
  
John looks down at his glass, unable to meet Gently’s eyes, as the anger drains from him. “You know, my resignation – it wasn’t just borne from the fear that I could actually die doing this job,” he admits. “It was the thought that one day, I might have to watch _you_ die in front of me. That I might have to continue doing this job without you.” He chances a look at Gently. “But now you’re going to retire, and it’s almost the same thing.”  
  
Gently looks surprised. “You know?”  
  
“Yeah. I know,” John says bitterly. “You and Rachel might think you’ve been subtle, that I haven’t noticed, but I knew something was wrong. Jesus, George. It’s been six years and you didn’t think you could talk to me about it? Instead I had to hear it from Nicholls.”  
  
“I’m sorry about that too,” Gently says. “I told Rachel I’d tell you, but when it came to it, I couldn’t find the words.”

John can’t blame him, no matter how much he has tried to these past few weeks. They have always found it easier to hurl insults at each other, rather than say the things they really mean.

“Why did you come here tonight?” Gently asks.  
  
John knows he has to say what he really means now, otherwise Gently will go his way, and John will never be able to follow. He steels his courage.

“I couldn’t let it end like this.”  
  
Gently nods, once, yet the understanding is worth more than any action or word. “Come back to work then, John. I am going to retire; I’ve given Nicholls my word. But there’s time yet. And you do have a future in the force.”

“I meant what I said then too,” John admits quietly. “When you go, there will be nothing left. Not for me. But I will come back, for now.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> 8x02 better hurry up, I swear.
> 
> Also, the concept of toasting with water shamelessly came from Ripper Street, because that scene is one of my favourites in anything ever.


End file.
